Could It Be

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It is Tuesday morning and I find myself in the midst of a new kind of peace. We have been home for four days now and while the first two were strangely odd leaving me feeling quite numb, I now find myself at peace. When you have carried the weight of the world on your shoulders for so long and then suddenly find it lifted it is amazing the peace and freedom that begin to settle. Could it be? I ask myself that question over and over again each day. Is it possible that someday soon I might find my life normal and my daughter completely healthy? I don’t dare concentrate on that possibility too long for fear I will ruin it, instead hand it over to Lord: ‘I declare LIFE over her, Lord. Give her LIFE.’

My children have been running around the house with carefree steps since the moment we walked through the door. It is as if no time has passed since Izzy first began treatment back in July. She has not had as much energy since then nor has she been as strong. She is still hooked up to an IV bag 16 hours a day but she doesn’t care, she drags it around behind her like an infant pull-toy.

Not even an hour after we were home I saw Izzy take off a hat she was wearing and place it in the fridge. To me it was a gift of hope. A few months back I wrote a post entitled, The Star Slinky Photo. It was about a photograph I had taken the night before I found out Izzy had cancer. A photograph that captured the last night of innocence in our home. I thought perhaps there would never be moments of peace and joy quite like that one in our home again. I was wrong. I believe that Izzy placing the hat in the refrigerator was God’s way of tangibly communicating, ‘Have hope. Days of peace and joy are here now and they will come again.’

Today Kendrick has taken Izzy back to Cincinnati for appointments. Over the next seven days we will be having evaluations done to wrap up this phase of treatment. Today’s appointments are with cardiology and audiology and we have been having them so regularly that we have a pretty good idea of where things are. Tomorrow will be a big one though. Tomorrow she will have an MRI of her left kidney area, her primary tumor site. PLEASE PRAY FOR NOTHING TO SHOW UP ON THE SCAN. Friday we will return for a Bone Marrow Aspiration. They will be looking for evidence of disease in the marrow. PLEASE PRAY FOR NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE IN THE MARROW. They will also send out a sample of her marrow for an antibody treatment to be made specifically for her. That will take a few weeks and once it is ready we will begin antibody treatment. Finally, next Wednesday she will have an MIBG scan which will be checking her entire body specifically for any evidence of neuroblastoma cells. PLEASE PRAY FOR NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE ANYWHERE!

I will update on Facebook with results periodically and next week with the complete results. Ultimately we are declaring life for Izzy, we are declaring that she still has No Evidence of Disease and we are not considering any other possibility? Join us in declaring that. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see what she puts in the fridge again.

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6 thoughts on “Could It Be

  1. We pray every night for Izzy, my 5 yr old and I every night…. sending prayers always for full recovery, miracles, and god’s peace to you and your family!!

  2. Remembering the joy of a little girl returning home after weeks and months away and I smile when I picture Izzy at home. Scans and tests will be scary-I wish I could say it gets easier, but each time brings a knot to the stomache, but prayers continue to be answered. I’ve said before, I think Izzy will be blessed with a long wonderful life. I want to meet her one day and maybe take a picture of our 2 girls together. Hugs and prayers to all.

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