Fall 2012

We were in the hospital all the time. Sometimes for chemo and sometimes because I got too sick after chemo. I said it was okay as long as I got to go home for Halloween. I was gonna be Merida from the movie BRAVE and there was no way I was missing Trick-or-Treating. Except I did.

When it was time for Halloween I was too sick to leave and the doctors said it wouldn’t be safe. I was real sad about that but daddy brought my costume and wig and shoes to the hospital. All the nurses and doctors tried to make the day fun and it worked. That night we had a parade around our floor so everyone got dressed up and they gave us candy. Being in a parade made me feel like a real princess. I told mommy it was the most fun on Halloween I had ever had.

We ended up spending Thanksgiving in the hospital that year too. Carter and Daddy always came on the weekends but for Thanksgiving we had other family come too. They had a big dinner down the hall for all the families that couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving. Everyone ate Turkey and Mashed Potatoes on paper plates. Everyone except me because I still couldn’t stop throwing up. Mostly they just fed me in my blood because my tummy was always sick. We didn’t even use my belly tube anymore except for getting my medicines.

Staying in the hospital wasn’t so bad most of the time. I missed Carter and Daddy a lot and I missed our house. I missed my toys and I missed our dogs too. The people at the hospital were all real nice. Everyone gave me games to play and crafts and they even had a playroom I could go to if my counts were high enough. All the nurses and doctors knew my name and they would play games with me sometimes. Sometimes they would even let me paint their nails before they went home.

My doll, Miss Judy, had cancer too. The nurses helped me do surgery on her and we put a line in her just like mine. Then when the nurses would do my chemo, I would do Miss Judy’s. When mommy would wipe my forehead with a washcloth, I would wipe Miss Judy’s too. She was the only one that knew what it was like to have cancer. She would get scared sometimes about things that we would need to do but I would always talk to her about it. Then mommy would ask me if I was scared and I would say no. I wasn’t scared, I was just talking about it so Miss Judy wouldn’t be. Sometimes I would hold Miss Judy down on the bed and do needles and stuff to her and she would cry. But I would just tell her that I loved her so much and I just wanted her to get better. And then when it was done I would hold her and rock her and she would fall asleep. Me and Miss Judy went through everything together. I was her mom but she was my best friend.