February 2013

I don’t remember much about stem cell. I was in the hospital for two months and could never leave the room. I had a pump with a button I could push when I had pain. It made me super tired but I had pain all the time so I pushed it whenever I could. The thing was, it would beep at me if I couldn’t have anymore but I couldn’t hear the beeps. That’s when we found out that I had  hearing loss from some of the chemos. I could still hear people’s words unless they talked quiet. But I couldn’t hear things like beeps or some kinds of singing on the tv.

I got lots of sores in my throat and threw up all the time just like before. But this time I always threw up blood and throwing up would make the sores hurt real bad. That would make me cry a lot, except I didn’t want to make noise because talking hurt the sores too.

I didn’t get out of bed for five or six weeks so I had to learn to walk again. Mommy said the muscles in my legs got too tired and needed to get strong. There were special kinds of nurses that would come make me use my leg muscles and I would always cry when they came. They would try to make fun games out of it but that just made me mad.

I should have got out of the hospital sooner but my body got real mad about the stem cells. My vitals got crazy again and the ICU doctors had to come check on me. Mommy said it was kinda like my body was attacking itself and my kidneys and heart were getting hurt. There was a lot of things about stem cell I didn’t understand. But I had to get a special kind of medicine one time a week that helped my kidneys and heart get better.

There were other kids stuck in their rooms that I had gotten to know in the playroom of the regular cancer floor. Mommy told me one day that she talked to a boy I had played with a few times, his name was John. He was standing in his room with the door open when mommy walked by so they started talking. He told mommy that Jesus healed him and that Jesus was going to heal me too. She told me about it and she thought it was real sweet. He died a couple weeks later. Mommy didn’t know I knew but I heard her tell somebody. I heard her say that Jesus did heal him after all, except I didn’t think that made sense because he was dead.