Tuesday Evening: The Night Before I sit on the floor of her room watching as she packs a tiny suitcase for her doll. Filled with tiny pajamas, a tiny blanket and a tiny bear it looks nothing more than a chore any other little girl would complete on the eve of a trip. Until she …
Stability
I struggle with this place that we are now, this place of STABLE disease. There are moments of each day were I feel exceeding joy that Izzy is still alive. That she is in school and playing soccer and enjoying being a child. But those moments are always followed by fear of the future …
March 14 – Four Years Later
Four years ago I was on staff at a church preparing for the celebration of Easter weekend. Each year from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday we would hold Forty Days of Prayer in a Prayer Room that had been built in the back of our sanctuary. During that season of Lent someone would be praying in …
A Celebration of Unawareness
September. Summer's heat meets Fall's crisp air and school is back in full swing as if it never stopped. I sit out on my deck this chilly Sunday morning with my coffee and my headphones listening to the same old worship song on repeat over and over again. Just this week I received some photos …
In The Pause
I do not ask questions for which there are no answers. A question is followed by a natural pause. When we ask a question that has no answer that pause goes on forever. If the questions are important, if they come from the depths of our broken soul, that pause is accompanied by a pain …
The Purple Card
Sunday evening I packed our bags for the week we would spend in Cincinnati. There were bags of clothes, bags of toys, bags of blankets and pillows. I have grown accustomed to the systematic way of packing for these trips. The things you bring to make you feel at home even though when you finally …
Matters Of The Heart
This past week Izzy has carried a nervousness that has been both heartbreaking and expected. She has cried about things that I cannot fix and asked questions I cannot answer. I have tried my best to circle around her inquiries drawing attention away from that which I do not know to that which I do …
Holy Consent
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to change the world. I have longed to help those that have great need, longed to bring justice to places there was none and wholeness to places that were broken. The Lord has given me the heart of compassion, the spirit of an advocate and …
The Heart of a Mother
I sat on a playground bench tonight and did the thing you're never supposed to do these days at playgrounds. I did that thing mothers are scorned for doing when they are supposed to be engaging with their children. Occasionally I would catch glimpses of other mothers looking at me. I was that mom we …
Izzy’s Story
Hospital beds are one-size-fits-all, you know. That's why you can't see her in this picture. But she is there, hidden within the white that engulfs her. I knew something was wrong when I took her to the Emergency Room Sunday. A sharp pain, I told them. It's nothing, they said. I knew it still when …
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