Finally it feels like Fall. My favorite part has been the evenings, as the sun goes down, the sky grows a tiny bit pink and the cool air comes. It is then that I notice the changing of the leaves, notice the many that have made their way to the ground from their homes in …
The Second Half of Hope
Izzy bares a striking resemblance to me. Her eyes, her nose, even her heart. She is half me and that means her story is half mine. When I look at her life and all that has come from it I cannot help but remember that she almost never was. Izzy almost didn't exist because nineteen …
The Exclusive Club of Pediatric Cancer
Photos courtesy of Lantern Tree Photography The laughter of a child is captivating. It is consuming. It lingers to the deepest place of your soul, awakening all that is within. The laughter of your own child is even more captivating, more consuming, more awakening. It somehow finds its way to the forgotten corners of your heart, …
Stability
I struggle with this place that we are now, this place of STABLE disease. There are moments of each day were I feel exceeding joy that Izzy is still alive. That she is in school and playing soccer and enjoying being a child. But those moments are always followed by fear of the future …
March 14 – Four Years Later
Four years ago I was on staff at a church preparing for the celebration of Easter weekend. Each year from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday we would hold Forty Days of Prayer in a Prayer Room that had been built in the back of our sanctuary. During that season of Lent someone would be praying in …
Season of You
Dear Izzy, You are eight today and and you are beautiful. For your birthday I pray for a miracle. I pray that you are alive in another eight years to read this. I will not write this post about the things I wanted for your life. The things I covet. Things I cannot give you. …
Beauty From Ashes – December 23rd
Weeks ago I lay in Izzy's bed late at night talking about Christmas. We talked about baby Jesus and how she wanted Grace, the American Girl Doll. We talked about the animals that were probably in the barn the night He was born and we talked about how Christmas was really about his coming into …
Everyday Kind Of Beautiful
A little over a week ago I found myself in the foothills of southern California in a little town called Ojai. It's the kind of place that's so tiny you can find your way around after five minutes. But it's the kind of place that is so far removed from reality you get lost there …
A Celebration of Unawareness
September. Summer's heat meets Fall's crisp air and school is back in full swing as if it never stopped. I sit out on my deck this chilly Sunday morning with my coffee and my headphones listening to the same old worship song on repeat over and over again. Just this week I received some photos …
In The Pause
I do not ask questions for which there are no answers. A question is followed by a natural pause. When we ask a question that has no answer that pause goes on forever. If the questions are important, if they come from the depths of our broken soul, that pause is accompanied by a pain …
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